Tapped for an unresponsive person at the local Heaven's Waiting Room Nursing Home. Just up the street, took us less than a minute to get there. Pull in, Medic J enroute from elsewhere in the township. I like this medic a lot, but like most smart people, he dislikes when people are stupid and/or things don't go smoothly. But what he most loves, is to laugh at my expense. He and my partner T have that in common. But it's cool. I mean, what else are EMTs for but to entertain the medics?
Anyway, we pull up and T pauses and goes, "I have a bad feeling. Better bring the AED." I had the same bad feeling, I just know better than to say it aloud, geez.
Inside we go. Greeted by a, "ARE YOU HERE FOR ROOM 666?? I'LL SHOW YOU!!" That, coupled with a nurse who almost took our stretcher out as she sprinted by us to "COPY THE PAPERWORK!!", bad feeling not alleviated. Picked up the pace, turned the corner into the room and smelled it before I saw it.
"She's awake now," the tech says (because why leave a nurse with an unstable pt. when there's paperwork to copy!) Awake she was, and completely covered in shit, and now so is my boot, because no one warned me not to step *there*. I resist the urge to plug my nose.
T walks in behind me and smirks. "So THAT'S what that bad feeling was! I'll be outside," he says. "Enjoyyyy!"
Ms. C. Diff frowns at me and states that the only way she's going to the hospital is if I wipe her and get her some real underwear. Sure, it's not my job but I think we all know how waiting for the nurses will turn out here. Might as well drop status with the county for the day. So, I dive in.
I'm up to my elbows when Medic J sticks his head in just in time to get in his first laugh of the day at my expense. "Remember, Syringe, the patient is our customer!!" Oh, yes. They call me Customer Service for a reason. I can hear him laughing in the hallway.
Another life saved I guess? Another life made a little more comfortable, at least. Oh well.
Except now I'm going to smell like poop for the rest of the day.
Oh and that bad feeling?
Still hanging overhead like that dark cloud over Eeyore.
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